Left Behind
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Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all
the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the
way
his mother cooked.
____________________________________________
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested
no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I
don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.
____________________________________________
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy
father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches
us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one
little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
____________________________________________
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,
including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when
they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in
the
week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and
said, Johnny what is the matter? Little Johnny responded, "I have a
pain in
my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
_____________________________________________
A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked
his mother, "Who am I? " Ready to play the game she said, "I don't
know! Who are you?" "WOW!" cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson was right!
She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me!"
____________________________________________
A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day
of
school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says
happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says
happens at home.
the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the
way
his mother cooked.
____________________________________________
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested
no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I
don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.
____________________________________________
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy
father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches
us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one
little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
____________________________________________
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,
including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when
they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in
the
week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and
said, Johnny what is the matter? Little Johnny responded, "I have a
pain in
my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
_____________________________________________
A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked
his mother, "Who am I? " Ready to play the game she said, "I don't
know! Who are you?" "WOW!" cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson was right!
She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me!"
____________________________________________
A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day
of
school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says
happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says
happens at home.
