Leupold BX-4 Rangefinding Binoculars

12 Steps To Give Your Cat A Pill

thormanw

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Joined
Aug 21, 2001
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8
Location
ky
I don't have a cat,but I read this in a magazine.Thought you guys might like it.
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as though holding a baby.Position right forefinger and thumb on both sides of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to it's cheeks.When cat opens up,pop pill into mouth.Cat will then close mouth and swallow.
2 Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.Repeat step one.
3 Retieve cat from bedroom,and throw soggy pill away.
4 Remove second pill from foil wrap.cradle cat in left arm,holding rear paws tightly with left hand.Force jaws open,and push pill to back of throat with forefinger.Hold mouth shut for a count of 10,if you are able. Hold cat's mouth shut to.
5 Retreive pill from goldfish bowl and cat from the top of refrigarator.
6 Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees.immobilizing front and rear paws.Ask assistant to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden fuler into cat's throat.Flick pill down ruler with forefinger,and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7 Retreive cat from living room curtain valance.
8 Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set aside for later glueing.Remove 3rd pill from foil wrap.
9 Wrap cat in towel and ask assisitant to lie prone on cat with cat's head visiable under armpit.Put pill in end of paper tube you've made for just this purpose.Then force cat's mouth open with a pencil and blow.
10 Check label to make sure pill is not lethal to humans.Sip water to take taste away.Apply bandage to assistant's arm and remove blood from carpet with soap and cold water.
11 Retreive cat from neighbor's roof
12 Telephone your veterinarians.or better still,drop your cat along with a generous donation,at an animal shelter and buy yourself a dog.
 
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